All of Me
by Andi Aradan
Summary: Erg...this one just popped up out of the depressing half of my brain. I can't really describe it. Therefore, I move on. Pairings include 1x2, implied 3x4. Warnings include shounen-ai, angst, Duo-torture.


A/N: Gah. This one happened because Andi got off on an Evanescence kick. She was listening to her mp3s and "My Immortal" came on, inspiring this and several other songfics which Andi has yet to write. Maybe she'll write them, maybe she won't. Her muses haven't decided yet. Although Duo keeps giving her dirty looks since he read this one, and says he's going to refuse to inspire any artwork. To which Andi replies that he hasn't been real helpful with the artwork lately ANYWAY. But enough about Andi's ramblings. Please read and review and enjoy. Oh yeah, I don't own Gundam W or any of those lovely boys contained therein. Even as much as I wish I DID own them. T.T  
  
Mournful strains of haunting, minor key piano floated through the large manor house, carried on the wind to parts unknown as they echoed away through the air.  
  
A low, sorrowful voice began to sing, the rich baritone carrying worlds of sorrow. "I'm so tired of being here," he sang, "suppressed by all my childish fears." The music was beginning to gather awed witnesses. Three figures stood in the doorway in awed silence as the music continued. "And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave.  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me."  
  
The silence was heavier in the room. No one spoke; no words were necessary. The three young men at the doorway knew without a doubt who the sad, violet-eyed youth at the piano was singing of. His eyes were closed, body swaying slightly as he played, the chestnut braid draping down his back weaving as he moved.  
  
"You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me."  
  
One in the doorway, a slightly-built, soft-eyed blonde youth looked down at the floor, eyes the color of the Carribean sea filling with tears. The taller boy to his right, hair falling in soft waves over one green eye, slipped his arm around the blonde, pulling him closer. It had been two years since they'd lost their friend, but the pain hadn't eased for any of them.  
  
The Chinese youth standing beside the pair watched the braided man play, his face never betraying for once that his heart was going out to the youth at the piano. He knew exactly what that kind of loss could do to a soul, and it was part of the reason that he was the way he was. He sighed, shaking his head, dark eyes glittering in sympathetic pain for his friend.  
  
And at the piano, the music grew in volume, hitting a shattering, poignant crescendo as he began to sing again. "I've tried so hard," he sang,   
  
"to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along."  
  
The words he sang originally had been intended for a female voice, but the long-haired youth executed the heartfelt sorrow as though the song had been intended for none but himself. "When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me."  
  
He played a few more bars of the haunting melody, the piano's song finally fading away into the tortured silence. The unbroken quiet continued for a few more moments while the braided youth slowly closed the lid of the piano, covering the keys. And then, still moving with that same almost broken sadness, he set his elbows against the piano, sank his face into his hands, and began to sob.  
  
It was a pattern that had been occuring every few weeks or so for the past two years. Ever since the small group had lost their brother and friend to a sabotaged mission.  
  
The loss had hit the violet-eyed youth quite a bit harder than it had hit the others, though. He and the Japanese youth had been incredibly close. They were friends, lovers...two halves of a single unit. And now the braided boy was breaking inside. No amount of counseling, sympathy, or comfort, no matter how well-intended, seemed to help him. It was clear now that the loss was slowly driving him mad.  
  
The trio in the doorway watched the heartbroken young man sob into his hands for a few moments longer, and then turned to leave, knowing that he would not welcome visitors during this time of weakness. The door was shut behind them, and they moved to go back about their business.  
  
It was then that a slight, blue-eyed figure crept in, moving slowly and cautiously through the house to avoid detection by any of the surveillance equipment - which equipments' positions he knew by heart having helped install it - and snuck stealthily to the door. Laying one hand against the knob, he opened the door slowly, blue eyes softening and turning sad at the sight of the figure hunched over the grand piano. He moved silently over to stand behind the braided boy, reaching out one hesitant hand toward him, and finally laid it on the boy's shoulder.  
  
"Go away," he said hoarsely, mistaking the hand as belonging to one of his other friends.  
  
"Duo," said the Japanese youth, his voice soft.  
  
Duo froze. His eyes snapped open wide as his head came swiftly up. Tears were still streaming down his face. He didn't dare to hope. Hope got crushed too easily. "Your ghost again, Heero?" he asked brokenly.  
  
"No ghosts," Heero replied, eyes gazing intently down at the back of Duo's head.  
  
The American boy finally turned, staring up in shock at the figure standing before him. "H-Heero..." he breathed, his eyes wide and still a touch disbelieving. He slid off the piano bench, dropping to his knees before the second figure in the room. Duo reached up with one hand, which the other boy took in his own. "How...how?" he finally settled on, his voice cracking and breaking.  
  
"I don't know," Heero said uncertainly. "One moment everything was exploding around me, the next I was wandering around in the battlefield with no memory...I had no clue who I was." He knelt on the floor, pulling the braided boy into his arms. "I spent two years in hiding, trying to get myself together. Trying to find some clue as to who I was..."  
  
"What finally happened?" Duo askd in a whisper, curling into the comforting embrace he'd so longed for.  
  
"I kept having dreams...you and the others...faces in my mind. And a song...something pulling me toward this place. I didn't know what it was. I saw a news report one day, about the apparent death of one Heero Yuy...and they flashed all our faces on the screen. Everything came back. All at once, I knew who I was and what had happened...and I knew I had to find you." He leaned back, brushing a few strands of hair out of Duo's face. "I had to come home."  
  
Duo had finally given up on speech and just sat there, tears of absolute joy streaming down his face. "A song?" he finally asked, having not missed that earlier in Heero's explanation.  
  
Heero nodded. "I could hear you singing. In my dreams...it pulled me toward you. I didn't even know who you were and I knew I had to get to you...just the sound of such heartbreak and pain was devastating..." he brushed idly at the tears on Duo's cheeks. "I thought I told you to keep living if anything ever happened to me," he chided gently.  
  
Duo laughed, pulling himself upright, though he was still leaning slightly in against his love. "I couldn't. When we found you were dead...I...something broke...nothing mattered. I just didn't care anymore. Trowa and Quat have tried to help, and Wufei spent some time verbally smacking me around trying to get me to move on, but I couldn't..."  
  
Heero nodded, tilting Duo's chin back and pressing a comforting kiss to his lover's lips. Duo clung to the kiss like it was a lifeline, terrified that if he let go or turned away for even a second, Heero would vanish and become a dream once more. When he didn't, the boy broke down sobbing again, the relief and joy at seeing his lover again finally overwhelming and too much to ignore.  
  
Heero pulled him in against his chest, simply sitting back against the floor and rocking the boy while emotions so intense ran their course. He ran one hand through Duo's hair, trying to soothe him as the pain he'd fought to keep buried for so long finally found its way out. No words were spoken; their relationship had never been one that needed words. Minds so closely linked as theirs often knew what the other was speaking before words could be spoken in the first place.  
  
It seemed like an eternity before the violet-eyed boy pulled his head up, the storm of tears subsiding as the pain ebbed away. "Don't leave me alone again," he pled desperately.  
  
Heero shook his head, pressing a gentle kiss to Duo's forehead. "Never," he swore. There was silence for a moment as he held his lover close, and then he spoke again. "Would you play that song?" he asked curiously. And then he shot Duo an arched eyebrow and a look that was purely Heero. "You never told me you had any musical talent," he accused. "Trowa and I figured you were tone-deaf the way you usually sing."  
  
Duo burst out laughing then, thrilling in the personality that was so uniquely Heero's, and the fact that this personality was once again home where he belonged. "Of course," he said. "And I only sang off-key 'cause I didn't want anybody to know I could pick out a tune blindfolded." He winked, getting to his feet, and sat at the piano's bench.  
  
Heero sat beside him. A few moments later, the heartbreaking strands of music began to float through the air, accompanied by Duo's rich, longing voice. It lacked some of the agony that it had held only minutes earlier, but the emotion was still there. As he listened, Heero shut his eyes and placed one hand against Duo's thigh. It made him ache inside to think that his disappearance and alleged death had caused the boy so much pain. He vowed that in the days after his homecoming, he'd do everything within his power to erase the hurt, the sorrow. He never wanted to see Duo in that much pain again. Especially not while knowing he was the cause.  
  
The song was over by the time Heero came out of his musings, and he turned. "It's beautiful," he said quietly. "That's the song I heard in my dreams...the song that guided me home."  
  
Duo leaned over, resting his forehead against Heero's shoulder, fingers slipping around Heero's hand and pulling it from his leg. The pair sat like that for what felt like an eternity, fingers entwined together as they just enjoyed being together once more. The two halves were finally rejoined, creating the single perfect entity. Heart and soul. "You still have it, you know," Heero said quietly.  
  
"What?" Duo asked, pulling his head up to look at Heero in confusion.  
  
Heero smiled softly, reaching up with his free hand to rest it against Duo's cheek. "All of me." 


End file.
